Ya know, one of the hardest things to do, and yet one of the most fruitful, is to let go and trust God in regards to a situation that worries or outright scares you. Case in point. God recently has been strongly encouraging me (well, more like dragging me kicking and screaming in the direction He wants me to go to ensure my compliance, lol) to pay off a debt I've been putting off for a long time. I have the money, but I wanted to sit on it as a safety net in case anything bad happened. God was like, "Um, no. Just trust and leave the details to Me. Now pay that bill already." So yeah, I had to wave goodbye to my safety net, and yet I don't feel bad about it. A little nervous admittedly, but not completely scared.

I think part of the reason behind that was a dream God gave me last night that helped drive home the point. It was sort of one of those observer type dreams where I was reviewing an event that happened in my life, but I was not actually participating. It was a situation where I was running a race, sorta like what we had to do in the Army when they gave us our PT test. IE, you had to push yourself and finish in a specific amount of time in order to pass your test and be certified for the next 6 months. I remember standing there watching myself just struggling, and I mean struggling hard just to go forward, and yet Jesus was right there with me by my side not only encouraging me, but even helping me move forward when my strength failed to be enough for the task.

It was painful to watch, and yet encouraging as well as, after this was over, Jesus quietly reminded me, "You've had it worse than this before. Far worse. And yet I always carried you through to the end, even when you didn't have the strength to do it yourself. Now trust Me and step forth in faith." So after waking up and having a brief argument with self and fear (mostly fear, although "self" was quite regularly butting into the conversation), I stepped out in faith and wrote that check, emptying out my monetary reserve to pay the bill. It wasn't easy, but with that little bit of encouragement from the Lord, it made it far easier than it could have been. So in the end I think that, no matter what it is, no matter how scary or difficult, simply trust in the Lord to carry you forward and then go and do as He has directed you to. :)