In my long and interesting 43 years of living on this green little rock we call Earth I've come to understand that God likes to take various situations in our lives and use them to teach us object lessons that we are in much need of learning. Case in point from today. During my morning news crawl when I'm spending time trying to both wake up and get caught up with everything that occurred during the night I was invited to insert my 2c into a conversation on Facebook on a friend's wall. Well, by the time I got there what I saw reminded me of an outright shell lobbing contest like you'd see in a world war where both sides were seeking mutually assured destruction.

On one side were a group of Christians who apparently began the conversation defending their view on the topic (I won't say what it was as that's not important anymore) while a group of atheists sat there and contested their viewpoints. Then it got into yelling, and blasphemy against Christ, as well as shouting and mocking on both sides, and continued to get worse until the Christians in the conversation eventually threw up their hands and left, leaving the atheists to concede victory while laughing and continuing to mock the believers and Jesus.

This is the point where I entered. The dust hadn't even really settled on the whole verbal carpet bombing when I gave a simple bit if insights and planned to step out and not get involved. Wrong. Instead of just simply disagreeing, out came the nukes and all the attention was turned against me. I mean, it was carpet bombing 2.0 right off the bat. Having been in debates like this before I simply proceeded forward in a very calm and professional manner and debated with them for a while. But when it became clear that no middle ground would be permitted or allowed by the other side, I simply and politely bowed out. When I did, I was lambasted even harder because I did.

One even called me a coward saying that anytime a Christian is backed into a corner or confronted with the truth, they run away. So in short I was being accused of running away with my tail between my legs because I wouldn't put up a good argument why Christianity wasn't some bunk superstitious religion. So what I wrong in leaving, or did I do the right thing? Per scripture, the latter is true. Why? Because the bible tells us to avoid pointless arguments like that.

2 Timothy 2:14,16 (KJV) - "Of these things put them in remembrance, charging them before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness."

1 Timothy 1:3-4 (KJV) - "As I besought thee to abide still at Ephesus, when I went into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no other doctrine, Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do."

As is the rule of debate and negotiations, when a discussion reaches a point that neither side is willing to budge one inch, it ceases to be a debate and becomes an argument. Thus, at that point, we are to simply hold our peace and walk away. So what if they think they won? Let them think that. The point is not, did we win. The point is, were we obedient?  Therefore, if a person is willing to hear you, even if they don't agree with you, you should by all means continue the conversation until they will no longer hear what you are saying.

That's how a number of people I know got saved. In fact, a young man at my old church was lead to the Lord that way. His name was Joe and he had a TON of questions. I swear he almost talked the ear off one of our elders with all the questions he had. But despite all these questions and his hesitation, our elder was right in continuing to pursue him and answer any questions he had while trying to persuade him to the Gospel. Eventually Joe accepted Christ and is a brand new man today, totally changed from the inside out.

So what about the gentlemen that debated me? Well, for starters I tried to be polite and cordial right from the start, answering the questions as best I could. But when it came down to it I could see the anger, the hatred, the resistance to what I was saying, the "I'm right and you're all wrong" attitude, not really wanting to hear what I said, but instead desiring to salve their consciences by beating me down to a bloody little stump with their "logic" about what God should be like per their definition. With people like that there is no way to have a productive conversation. So you simply withdraw politely and leave.

Yes, they'll get mad, and will probably call you, and even Jesus, some very nasty names. But that's fine. When they're raking us over the coals, we're not the one they're attacking. We're merely the messengers. Jesus is the one trying to reach them. But since they can't face Him directly, they instead choose to shoot the messengers in order to do maximum damage to Jesus which, unfortunately enough, quite often tends to be us. The point though here is this. Love them as Christ loves us. Don't yell, or scream or get upset. Be calm, loving, debate with Godly wisdom and assurance, and when they won't hear you anymore, simply withdraw and leave.

And for Heaven's sakes, DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM! By arguing I'm talking about getting angry, fighting, yelling, name calling, etc, etc, etc. Don't do that!! God expects us to be more mature than that. Plus, as Proverbs 15:1 says "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (KJV) So we need to understand that. I don't care how angry it makes you, or that they just insulted Jesus or that they insulted you. So what? The battle is not ours. They're angry at God for some perceived slight against them. What that is only they know. But don't get angry if they won't hear you. Look at what the people in the time of Christ did. Good grief, they not only rejected the Lord, they crucified Him!!

So are we to expect anything different now than in 33AD!? If anything, given that we're in the times of Noah and Lot, we should expect it to be even worse than the day when Jesus hung on Calvary. But again, their anger is NOT against you, but rather the one who is in you. Namely, Jesus. Remember, we are of Christ, and as such we are likely to get a LOT of flack we don't deserve. After all, didn't Christ say that if they persecuted Him, how much more we who are His followers?

John 15:20 (KJV) - "Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also."

See? If we're presenting ourselves before them as we should (ie, in a Christ like manner) and they attack us, then be joyful as you are seeing the same persecution that Jesus saw. Honestly it's an honor to be persecuted for Christ. Now, if you go off and do something stupid and get persecuted because you did something stupid, then yes, you deserve every ounce of persecution you receive for what you did.  As such it's better to do right and be persecuted for the sake of Christ than because of our own foolishness.   Even so, in the end we have three things we need to take from this.

One, be polite, professional, Christ like, and extremely loving to whomever you speak with, be it believer or the unsaved. That means don't raise your voice or be rude. (see Daniel 2 for a great example of how to handle yourself even in the worst possible situations) This also means being very, very firm and well grounded in your understanding of the bible. A person only becomes angry or shouts at another in a discussion or argument, not because they know the subject matter and are trying to convince the other person, but because they doubt themselves, and thus shout as loudly as possible in an effort to convince themselves.

So in plain, simple fact, if you're shouting, you're doubting, and thus you should immediately end the conversation and go study, study, study until you are dead certain you know, believe and understand the topic before continuing any further discussion of it. Remember, the more you doubt the truth of something, including your own salvation, the more likely you will be to become angry and boisterous about the topic. But those who are firm in their faith need not shout, but instead they will express kind, gentle professionalism in all they say and do.

Two, if the person you are speaking with is willing to hear you, continue to talk with them until they either run out of questions, or no longer wish to hear what you are trying to share. At that point it is best to part ways in friendship, or at least as cordially as possible, and with as much love and kindness as you can muster, and even perhaps a prayer for the individual, and then go your separate ways.

Three, if the person will not hear you at all, and will not in any way budge from their position, politely and lovingly remove yourself from the conversation and simply leave. Don't pray, don't stay, and for crying out loud, don't get angry and throw a fit! Even if they insult you or Jesus or your mother or whoever, just smile and walk away. Remember, they're not angry at you. They're angry at Jesus, and as such it's for Him to deal with. I would certainly advise praying FOR them, but not with them. In time the Holy Spirit may work on their heart and shatter their wall of resistance, at which point in time they will be ready to hear you.

But in the end, no matter how tempting, we must NEVER engage in vain disputations, be that with a fellow believer, or especially the unsaved. While the verse was originally written to deal with the unsaved, there are plenty of situations where this could also apply to a weaker brother, or simply someone else that is a Christian who may have a different interpretation of a bible verse than you. I fully admit that don't agree with everyone on every passage, some of which tend to create very heated discussions without much effort. Even so I am willing to discuss it with another because I may be wrong, or they may be wrong, or both of us may be wrong.

In the end, if both parties are willing to hear the thoughts of the other, I can guarantee that both will always learn from each other and have their faith enlarged. I know I have. So really, please, if you wish to display the true nature of Jesus to the world and the other believers in the body of Christ, one must live like Christ, and that even goes for our discussions. Because if we don't, we may end up with the world seeing us in much the same way Gandhi did. And I will leave you with this singular quote from him describing his view of Christians so you understand what I mean.

"I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." - Mahatma Gandhi

That should make you think a bit, no?