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A Rocking Chair And An Empty Place
Saturday, May 13th, 2017 4:28pm
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Ya know, it's weird sitting here today thinking about mom's stuff, especially on the eve of mother's day. For the past 17 days since she passed nothing much has been done with the majority of it. Sure, a few things got outcycled already and went to people who really needed them, just as I know that mom would have wanted as she was a very giving person. But the bulk of the stuff just sat around here until my sister was ready to come over and decide what she wanted out of what little mom had left when she died. After she chose what she wanted, the rest of the stuff, with the exception of a dresser that she's still deciding on whether she wants it or not, fell to me to do with as I saw fit.

Well, up to this point I thought all was fine and I was okay and had already moved beyond the grieving process, especially since I had plenty of time in advance to start the process and work through it, making it easier for me to work through the aftermath and follow up details that obviously would come with her home going. However, today was a bit different. After talking with my sister and getting her approval, I decided to donate mom's chair to someone who needed it. Intriguingly enough, it got picked up by one of the people from church and donated for use in the church nursery.

Now all that remains is an empty spot on the carpet, and a LOT of memories, both of mom using it, and even me taking it over for a time at the end, trading places with mom so that she could use my much softer, fluffier chair during her last couple months here to help relieve her growing pain and discomfort. While I praise the Lord that mom's chair can be put to good use, it brought about a bit of sadness as well. I know it's a good thing that it's being put to good use by others, and I absolutely want it to be used by others, and I know mom would as well.

Even so, looking at that now empty spot on the floor has brought back some tears I thought had already moved on. In my eyes I gave away another part of what I remember about mom. I can't even tell you how long we've had that chair. It's been a LONG time, and the person who gave it to her had it even longer. I mean, okay, it's a chair, and I probably shouldn't get so sentimental about it. Yet it carries so many memories with it. I even sat in it a bunch of times after mom went to the hospice home and even after she died, remembering and relieving mom's time in that chair, and the years and years she sat in it.

Now all that's left is a pair of indentations in the carpet, a few dust bunnies and an empty spot in the living room. While I know I did the right thing and it's something mom would totally agree with, and even ask me to do were she here, it still doesn't feel right, as now there's a great big empty spot in the living room where her chair once had been, and most importantly where she had sat for so many hours and days and years. Again, I'm not regretting my decision. I'm just surprised at how much this is hitting me afterwards. I guess this is just part of the healing process. Even so, it's amazing how much value we put on little things like this.

Not so much that they have value in and of themselves, but rather because of all the memories attached to them. And while I may sit here and weep for a while today as I mull over each of these wonderful, precious memories slowly, one at a time, I will also be grateful for the privilege that was given to me to have been blessed with an opportunity to have all those wonderful moments with mom. And in the end I pray that whoever sits in that chair from now until its days be complete, would also be greatly blessed with many, wonderful, precious memories of their own to hold onto and cherish for years to come. ^_^

For no matter how great or small the value of an item may be, it is the memories that come with it that are the greatest treasure of all, and so long as we hold onto those, no matter what may become of that item, we will have been blessed with a treasure far greater than the finest treasures of this world, a blessing and a gift that is second only to the wonderful gift of salvation given to us by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for He is the greatest gift of all. :)

Mom's Chair as it appeared in our living room.

The space left over after I gave away mom's chair.

 

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